I tend to go through these bizarre cycles every year where I question who I am and where I belong.  Last year I went through a pretty intense episode which involved a midlife crisis-eque breakdown which I felt gave me the answers I needed.  Yet here I am again in another one of those scenarios of questioning why I do what I do.  It's gotten to the point where I am not really getting as much enjoyment out of my hobbies, and where they have really come to the point of taking over my life and who I am.  But then I ask myself, who am I without my hobbies?

Many see my hobbies as childish an silly, and that doesn't bother me because I don't engage in my hobbies to please anyone else but myself.  But it has gotten to the point where I look around at the growing collection of clutter in my home and ask myself "why?".  I collect toys, comic books, DVDs, and a lot of things that I don't really need and they all take up space.  Last year that drove me to the breaking point and then I just stopped for a while, but it always comes back because I miss it, but I always find myself back here.  It's somewhat like the seasons changing, and I can always be sure that I will find myself unsatisfied at either extreme.  So I must question where I fit in, because I feel like I am not totally in the camp of a collector, yet I can't seem to NOT be one either.

It is beginning to look like this hobby is taking control of me, and more often than not I just kind of ride with it on auto pilot.  When my house gets out of control I realize that I have a problem and stop for a few months and then I am right back into it again.  I just can't picture myself ever being rid of it, but I also can't picture myself being 50 years old and still buying action figures and reading comics.  Problem is that right now this is kind of "my thing" and without that then who the hell am I?