Last year I constructed a list of my goals for 2009, instead of using the term resolutions I decided to make it a little more generic.  You can see how I think that all went in my previous post, but this post will look forward for 2010.  This year things are a little bit different as I just turned 30 and decided that I would attempt to do a 30 for 30 list.  Let me explain...

Most people seem to dread turning 30 for some reason, and try to squeeze in doing as many things as they can before they turn 30.  I suppose I understand this sentiment, but I do not agree.  Turning 30 is something that should be celebrated, it is a milestone and unfortunately, not everyone gets to make it that far for one reason or another.  Instead of experiencing the malaise that more commonly comes with turning 30 I decided that I will embrace it.  One way of doing this is that I have decided I will attempt to come up with a list of 30 things to do to celebrate my 30th year.  This way instead of trying to cram as much stuff into the last few months of my 29th year as possible, I can spend the entire year celebrating my 30 years on this wonderful planet.

The only problem with the 30 in 30 list is that it is much more cumbersome than (for example) my goals list from last year which was about 8 items long.  The 30 in 30 list also needs to be a little bit different than a standard resolutions or goals list, I kind of want to put some things on the list that I have never experienced before.  I understand that I wont really be able to put 30 unique things that I have never done before, but I am attempting to structure a completely different list than I am used to.  And make it a little bit challenging and celebratory.  The list is still in progress, and I will post in in it's entirety when completed.  That being said I do have a shorter list of standard resolution type goals for the year that are unrelated to the 30 in 30 list, and some may look familiar from last year.  Here they are:

• Lose 30 lbs - I know this can be done, and I am determined to do it.
• Run a 5k - I did this last year without planning it out in my goals list, but have fallen out of running since then.  My goal is to get back up to 5k shape and run in one again, most likely the Komen run.
• Install all new interior doors in the house - Been wanting to do this for a while, but never had the will to work on it, and I defeat myself before I even begin.
• Study more - Last year I had a goal to get back into coding/scripting, and I never even attempted it.  I have a bunch of books, so I need to use them.  I get too distracted at home so I am debating making use of the library or a coffee shop.  Along with coding/scripting I also need to learn Spanish, and with two native Spanish speaking individuals living with me, I really should be able to improve on this.
• Reduce - It's time to sell off some old collectibles and other stuff taking up space in our house that we no longer use or care as much about.  Looking at some spaces in our house makes me realize that it is time to down size a little bit.

That will do for the standard "goals of the year list".  Unfortunately 2 of the items on the list are not quantifiable, so the measure of achievement isn't obvious.  However I have done nothing in the last 2 items in the last year, so any bit of work in either of those areas I will consider an improvement, as long as it is an honest effort and forward progress is made.

Now I need to get back to working on my 30 for 30 list, as well as my 2010 Gaming Goals list for CheapAssGamer.  I will update here when all that is done.  What are you aiming to achieve in 2010?

A new year has come and again I take a look at what I accomplished last year.  I look back at my previous goals (or resolutions) and I see that I really haven't achieved what I set out to do in 2009.  I have to wonder why do I make goals for myself at all?  I never really work hard at them or push myself to achieve anything, but I guess I like the idea of setting some goals for myself even if I won't reach them.  The thing is that the goals ARE reachable, but for some reason I never feel compelled to hold myself to them.  Looking back I guess I did alright, it looks like I reached about 4 out of 8 of my goals set for last year (though 50% is still a failing grade).

I did accomplish a few smaller things with home improvements in 2009 so I can check that off of my list, and I also completed more video games in 2009 than in 2008 (I also believe I completed more games than I purchased) so I can check that off of the list.  I also learned a bit more bass and became a bit more social (when I got invites out I did my best to make it, and if I couldn't I made sure to communicate that) so I feel those can be checked off of the list.  Sadly stuff like: lose 40 pounds, get back into coding/scripting, becoming more organized, and getting the balance down to zero were not achieved.  I did get side tracked a bit during the year but allowed me to achieve other goals that I had not mentioned in my first post of last year.

I ran my first 5K in 2009 for the St. Louis Komen Run.  I trained for a couple of months going from couch commando to nearly daily runner by the time the run came.  The run was one of the best things I have ever done (for multiple reasons) and I did find a new love for running during the time up until the run.  Sadly shortly after the run I came down with a cold which kept me from wanting to go out and run, and then shortly after that my Grandmother passed away while we were out to Massachusetts for a visit.  I never got back out on the pavement after that, though I did miss it the drive was gone.  Maybe because I already met my 5K goal?  I'm not sure, but in 2010 I want to get back out there regularly because I loved it, and my stationary bike just isn't the same as going out and running.

I also got engaged in 2009, and that is a whole long story that I had already posted about which you can view by perusing previous posts.  But the proposal, and the trip we took for it, were big barriers to me getting my balance down to zero.  The weight thing I struggled with here and there, but couldn't find the energy to commit to a strict diet.  It's hard to find the energy to work on cooking anything at night, or during the weekend, so I got out and grab something quick often, and that is not healthy.  This is absolutely something to work on in the new year. 

I also found it hard to work on learning new things like my desires to learn how to draw, speak Spanish, or even learn a bit more about coding and scripting.  I would like to say that I will work on more of that in 2010, but I haven't decided yet what would be best.  2010 is going to be a little bit of a different beast, and I will explain more about that in a post by the end of the week (hopefully).  2010 looks to be my busiest, and most ambitious year yet!  I am working on my list for that right now and I hope to get it up soon.

Did you achieve what you set out to in 2009?  

I tend to go through these bizarre cycles every year where I question who I am and where I belong.  Last year I went through a pretty intense episode which involved a midlife crisis-eque breakdown which I felt gave me the answers I needed.  Yet here I am again in another one of those scenarios of questioning why I do what I do.  It's gotten to the point where I am not really getting as much enjoyment out of my hobbies, and where they have really come to the point of taking over my life and who I am.  But then I ask myself, who am I without my hobbies?

Many see my hobbies as childish an silly, and that doesn't bother me because I don't engage in my hobbies to please anyone else but myself.  But it has gotten to the point where I look around at the growing collection of clutter in my home and ask myself "why?".  I collect toys, comic books, DVDs, and a lot of things that I don't really need and they all take up space.  Last year that drove me to the breaking point and then I just stopped for a while, but it always comes back because I miss it, but I always find myself back here.  It's somewhat like the seasons changing, and I can always be sure that I will find myself unsatisfied at either extreme.  So I must question where I fit in, because I feel like I am not totally in the camp of a collector, yet I can't seem to NOT be one either.

It is beginning to look like this hobby is taking control of me, and more often than not I just kind of ride with it on auto pilot.  When my house gets out of control I realize that I have a problem and stop for a few months and then I am right back into it again.  I just can't picture myself ever being rid of it, but I also can't picture myself being 50 years old and still buying action figures and reading comics.  Problem is that right now this is kind of "my thing" and without that then who the hell am I?  

Those who follow me on Twitter or on Facebook will know that I am now engaged to the wonderful woman who has put up with my crap for the last 3 years or so.  I say the "or so" because we have known each other for longer than that, so she technically has put up with me for a bit longer than we have actually been dating.

The most common question is how and where was it done, and for some reason this question mostly comes from females.  I guess guys really don't care about those details until it's their turn to take that step.  Regardless, I said I would type up the story so here it is.

For me, the engagement had to take place in Orlando.  I didn't want to just propose to her at our house, or at her parent's house, or at the top of the arch, or anything like that.  I needed to do this, and it had to be beyond special so I set my aim for magical.  Dolores absolutely loves Disney, and I knew that Disney World is practically her favorite place on the planet, so it had to happen there.

I've known for quite a while that I was going to propose on Disney property, the problem was when and how to do it.  Sometime around February I noticed one of our perks at work was discounted theme park tickets, and I saw that included Disney.  So after checking out prices I saw it was definitely possible, and a lot cheaper than I had anticipated, so I made the suggestion that we take a Disney World trip this year.

We had gone to Disneyland for the first time last year and it just opened my eyes to this wonderful world that I had never really understood.  Sure we all grow up with Disney cartoons, and I like the Pixar movies and all, but that was pretty much the extent of it.  I never realized there was an entire Disney culture out there with people who are as rabbid of a fan for it all as I am for something like Transformers.  The trip to Disneyland definitely helped me realize that Disney was a lot more than just a few cartoons and movies, and I started to fall in love with it all.

So a few months after our high from the Disneyland trip began to settle, I made the suggestion for Disney World.  We put together a game plan and found that our best bet was to visit Orlando at the end of September.  This would allow us to take advantage of the Military Veteran pricing at the Shade of Green resort, allow us to attend the Epcot Food and Wine festival, and allow us to attend Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party.  Also it would allow me time to save up for a ring, and plan out what to do.

I wanted to wait until the last possible minute to buy a ring because I honestly did not trust myself with it.  I knew if I purchased the ring months before our trip, that I would jump the gun and propose to soon, so I had to wait.  All the time up until the trip I had to deflect anything engagement or wedding related, and also act completely aloof about Disney World.  It was rough but I was able to pull it off.  The really difficult part was that I had this amazing secret that I wanted to share with the woman I loved, but I couldn't because that secret was more than any normal secret.

I spent the months up to our trip researching rings and proposal ideas at Disney, and ended up stressing myself out.  To me the important thing is where and how it was done, and it may sound a little vain, but I wanted her to have a good story to tell.  Most importantly, I wanted it to not only take her completely by surprise, but I wanted it to exceed any expectation she may have had.  The complicated thing about proposing to your loved one at a theme park is the fact that you are proposing to your loved one at a theme park.  There are people EVERYWHERE, and we are not the type of people to make big publicspectacles out of ourselves.  The whole "proposing at a restaurant during dinner thing so everyone can clap" isn't us, and I knew that.  So what I had to do had to be done at the most crowded theme park in America, yet be somewhat private and romantic.  Perfect.

I had picked a few possibilities for a proposal idea, but I wasn't crazy about them.  I figured that while we were there I would figure something out, I didn't want to just recreate someone else's story, but I wanted to make my own.  I had the ring picked out for sometime and had it in hand by the second week of September, leaving it burning a hole in my pocket for only a couple of weeks.

In preparation for our trip, Dolores and I had drafted out an entire in-depth itinerary to maximize what we can see and do while in Orlando.  We planned to visit all 4 parks that make up Disney World, as well as spend a day at Universal Studios.  This meant we were going to be at certain places at very specific times and days.  Some parks are open later on certain days, some parks only have a specific show on a specific day (like Fantasmic at Disney's Hollywood Studios), and then there are specific times for fireworks shows and parades. 

The original thought was to pop the question at Cinderella's Wishing Well at the Magic Kingdom.

Cinderella's Wishing Well at Magic KingdomIt seemed somewhat secluded, and seemed clever and romantic, and had a great view of the castle.  Two problems with this were: 1) It was not my idea 2) We would not be at the Magic Kingdom until halfway through our trip.  We were arriving on a Wednesday and we were not scheduled to be at the Magic Kingdom until Sunday, and I was not going to wait that long.  This trip would also be for us to celebrate our engagement so I wanted to pop the question on the first day of our trip.

The first day of our trip was scheduled to include a photo shoot at the Polynesian Resort, followed by a Luau Dinner Show at the resort, and then finish the night at Epcot.  I figured I could find somewhere in there to do this.  So with the ring hidden safely in my travel backpack we set off for Orlando on the morning of September 23rd.

Once we got into Orlando we head out to Downtown Disney to have lunch at Wolfgang Puck's so I could try some of the Pumpkin Ravioli that was on the menu (for those that don't know, I see anything pumpkin as a blessing from the heavens).  After lunch we checked into our hotel, and went out for a round of mini-golf at one of Disney's water parks.  We had a specific time to show up for our photo shoot so we left ourselves enough time to get back to our room to change before the shoot, so this is when I planned to switch the ring from carry-on to pocket. 

After golf, changing clothes, and freshening up we made our walk from our hotel to the Polynesian.  I had a big bulge in my left pocket the size of a ring box that I was doing my best to cover up and hide from Dolores.  I kept her on my right hand side as much as possible during our walk, but I was still a bit nervous.  We got to the Polynesian and checked in with the photographer and started to make our way around the resort having our pictures taken.  Our travels around the Polynesian with our photographer brought us to an interesting point right off of the beach that had a great view of Disney's Contemporary Resort, The Grand Floridian Resort, and Cinderella's Castle.  At that moment I thought I found the place.

Sunset Point at Disney's Polynesian Resort

We finished our shoot and went back to pick out which we wanted as prints and pick up our CD of all the pictures.  After we were done I told Dolores that I wanted to go back out and take some pictures with our camera of the scenery.  As we got closer to the spot (which I later found out was called Sunset Point) I started to fumble with the box in my pocket and attempted to snap shots with the camera in my other hand.  We got to the end of the path which ended in a nice circular areasurrounded by palm trees and looking out on the water and I began speaking.  I believe I mentioned something about bringing her to the happiest place on Earth to ask her if she would make me the happiest man on Earth, but for all I know I just made a bunch ofunintelligible sounds and then got down on one knee.  I then pulled the box from my pocket, opened it up, and asked her if she would marry me.  She said "Oh my god! YES!" and then we hugged for a long time and kissed and there were some tears shared from both of us.

Another look at Sunset Point closer to the end of the path, with Ciderella's Castle in viewHardly able to comprehend that I was able to pull this off exactly how we wanted, we walked back a ways towards the beach to call our families and loved ones to tell them the news as the sun set.  She said she had no idea, she was blown away, and she told me it was better than she could have ever imagined.  We then went into the resort to prepare for our dinner show we were to attend and when doing so the person behind the counter asked my fiance if she was ok because she was still a bit speechless and confounded.  Dolores told her that I just asked her to marry me, and the person behind the counter offered a congratulations and gave us some buttons to wear during our stay.

We wore these around the park during our stayDuring our entire trip she still kept telling me that she couldn't believe it.  She was stunned about how long I was planning this and how I took her by surprise, and she loved the ring and kept looking at it several times every day.  We wore the buttons we were given that first night throughout the trip, and the cast members at Disney always offered a "congratulations" and some that we had more time to talk to asked if it was on property and how it was done.  I got high fives from some cast members after seeing the ring, and even somecongratulatory hand shakes and hugs from Mickey Mouse, Stitch, Donald, and other characters.

Easily the greatest vacation ever, and we were both thrilled how everything turned out.  We are very happy to have gotten engaged at Disney World, and we plan on returning there at the beginning of 2011 to get married.  I'm just very glad that all the choices I made in planning it were the right ones, it turns out I really do know my fiance after all!  And for those wondering, here's the ring:

Loly's new ringThat's all for now.  Sorry it took so long to get this up there!

At one point earlier this year I was on a good track to become fit and a little more healthy.  I was running 3 miles a day 3-4 days a week, and I was eating a bit better, but somehow that all slipped away.  I ran the Komen run (5k) in St. Louis, which was one of the best things I have ever done, and then I took a break for a week.  That week turned into two, two weeks became a month, a month became two, and here we are. 

My diet fell to shit when I made my unscheduled trip out to Massachusettes at the end of June/beginning of July.  And it still is hard to get back on track.  Food wise, well lets face it, I love food.  It's hard for me to eat a "Smart Ones" meal or a salad when I can have something else that is much more awesome and 4 times the calories.  I'm working on it, but it is such a damned struggle.  And I will be at Disney World at the end of the month, and there is no way any kind of diet will swing there for me.

I started riding a stationary bike recently to get my body back in line to get back out and start running again.  I do about an hour a day on the preprogrammed setting to "burn calories" and at times it really does burn, so hopefully that is the right stepping stone.  I really hope to get back out running soon, which is odd because I used to loathe running.  But more on that another time.

As you might be able to tell from stalking me on any of the sites I write on, I am having difficulties once again balancing everything.  I really wish I could post more everywhere, but it is hard for me to find a lot of things to write about and sometimes I just get lazy.  I'm doing my best to keep up with it all though, stay tuned here, on Deefuzz DOT Com, and on Ish Talkers for more.